Saturday, February 1, 2014


Dear MTN,
I write this letter with so much pain.
On January 1 2012, GEJ Government took Nigerians by surprise on New Year Day with their fuel subsidy wahala. Little did we know that you guys were jealous of the attention we gave them.

On January 4 2014, I gave a recharge card vendor a #200 note in exchange for #200 worth of MTN airtime but she returned the money to me saying I will need to balance her extra #20. I walked up to another vendor and the same thing happened. On further investigations, I found out that you, MTN had topped an additional #10 to your #100, #200, and #400 airtime packages.
We have been told by MTN that the cost of those tools they have been using in torturing has risen and as such, we should pay extra #10 to make up for this.

I'm tempted to ask, why the sudden price increment? To rid off customers? To offer us good service? Or is MTN broke? Are you not the one that gave out an invisible aeroplane to an eighteen year old female subscriber a year ago thereby converting her from a studen to a pilot? Are you not the one that usually give two million naira to lucky subscribers daily IF and ONLY IF he/she will text WIN to 33314? Are you not the one that gave CHRISTY a Toyota Camry because she texted YES to 7070? Are you not the one that gave OGECHI a Honda four weeks ago because she texted WIN to 5050?

What of the #100 that was deducted from my sim and that of other innocent subscribers after MTN informed us via SMS that Nigeria's flag is green, white, gree? Are you not the one that offered us #400 airtime (though your terrible network didn't let us utilise the airtime before you took it back from us two days after) free of charge because we updated our sim registration details?

Last year, I was walked out of an examination hall by the supervisors because my phone rang. One missed call from 180. Those yellows guys have hypnotised me. I can't count the number of times I've gone to a mobile shop to get another line but walked out after 30 minutes with another MTN sim. I gave it all. The 0803, the 0806, the 0703, the 0706, the 0813, and the 0810 numbers.

MTN were the first to send me a new year SMS. They had me googling if I mistakenly killed late Nelson Mandela. (My number had not rested coz I refused to subscribed for Mandela's callertunes). I wake up every morning with a good morning SMS from MTN N informing me of my chance to win One Million Naira before the day is over. I go to bed every night with my good night SMS from MTN N informing me that I may not have been lucky today but tomorrow is another day.

Finally, why didn't you ask for my approval before the #10 subsidy issue? Some of you may be thinking that am jobless because of my 800 words article just because of #10. If #10 is taken out of your One Million Naira, would you still be called a millionaire?

But finally MTN has been fucking up.
Yours sincerely,
Nigeria OO


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